Is Funner a Word?

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Is Funner a Word?

 

Yes, now go fuck off. Hmmm, this is a rather short article if I just phrase it that way, perhaps I should go into more detail.

 

Perhaps at some point as a child you, or someone you knew used the word "Funner" and was reprimanded that "Funner" is not a real word. Or perhaps you used the word "Funner" on a facebook post, and the never ending list of spelling and grammar Nazi's, who have nothing better to do than to hover on facebook to reprimand and edit other's post to show their own delusional superiority, tried to correct you.

 

So, is "Funner" a word? Well, what is the definition of a "word"? Is not a "word" a sound or a series of sounds made by man, animals mimicking man, or killer robots come to steal our women; that have a specific meaning that can be understood by a listener? The word "Funner" fits this criteria. When the killer robots tell you, "it's way funner to probe your wife's anus than a goat's." You know exactly what they mean (as does your wife now, sadly for her anus). Well, ok hopefully you don't know first hand how fun it is or isn't to probe a goat's anus, but I won‘t judge.

 

And is not a word a sound, or a series of sounds that can be depicted through writing by using the 26 letters of the English alphabet? You don't have to use all 26 letters in each word, thank God. Though the French do try and pack as many extra letters as they can into their words. The word "Funner" also fits this criteria as well. Just read it. It's six letters "F-U-N-N-E-R."

 

If Einstein was here with us today, he'd say, "Holy fucking shit, I'm dead, why am I here?!?!?!" And once he calmed down, perhaps he'd encourage us to do a thought experiment. Or he'd want to eat our delicious brains. Here's a hint, if you don't want zombies to eat your brain, then make sure your brain isn't delicious; but instead is very dirty. I try to think as many dirty thoughts as humanly possible each day for this reason. So really, by my thinking dirty dirty thoughts about sexy sexy ladies, I'm really helping to avoid a zombie apocalypse for us all. You're welcome society. Now, wasn't I suggesting some sex... I mean a thought experiment.

 

Imagine that you are a painter, and I am a painter. And one day you create a new hue of a color. You mix some red, a little blue, maybe a little yellow and create a hue of a color that is magnificent and has never been seen by human eyes before. And in your joy at this new discovery, you run over to me, to show me your new color and tell of all the new things you shall paint with it. And the moment I see it I castigate you. "That is not a real color! It's not like the other colors I learned about in art school! It does not follow the rules of colors that I was taught! I can’t paint an orgy of penises with that color! It is not a real color!"

 

The thing is, whether I accepted it or not, it would still be a color. Words are the paint of a writer, which he or she uses on his or her canvas be it novels, short stories, movies, the stage, or in song. If a painter decided that he would never again use the color blue in his paintings, that would be a test of his skills. BUT if society tried to tell all painters, everywhere, that they could not use the color blue in their paintings, it would severely limit what an artist could create. It would limit how they could reach and move their audience, and how they could express themselves. It would be foolish to let arbitrary rules limit oneself when the goal is expression of the human spirit.

 

There is no high board of humans, no "Word" Cabal deep in the basements of Harvard that creates all the new words that are used everyday by people to express feelings and share with each other. This "Word" Cabal doesn't go back to caveman times only creating perfect words that must never be tampered with or evolve. There weren't a bunch of cave men sitting around a campfire in ancient times one day that created all the words that we use, and which are now holy and untouchable.

 

Caveman 1: Ugggggh...
Caveman 2: No.
Caveman 1: Derrrr...
Caveman 2: No, no good.
Caveman 1: Trans... transss...
Caveman 2: I like where this is going.
Caveman 1: Trans... Transcendental meditation
Caveman 2: That's a keeper! Mark it down!

 

If language is so perfect and set in stone, then why don’t we still speak and write in Latin, or Elizabethan English anymore? There is no clamor for sonnets about the joys of big butted women. Why? Because languages evolve and grow and change. Because words are created by everyone, not just the people who write dictionaries or have English degrees.

 

Lewis Carroll, Dr. Suess, authors like that have created new words on their own that are used in our lexicons today. The word “nerd” was first seen in print in one of Dr. Suess’ stories from the 1950’s. And today it is a household word. We didn’t have to wait for ivory tower eggheads to create it. It’s in the nature of people to create and evolve words. All languages do this. Especially English which is such a hodge podge of other languages.

 

Now ask previous said spelling/grammar Nazi's why “Funner” is not a word, and you'll most likely get a, "just because" or "that's just how it is." Or an argument that the word “Fun” is a noun and thus can never have an adjective form. Why? For ignorant adherence to tradition?

 

If science held such ignorant reverence for the past, rather than embrace introspection and questioning assumptions about reality we’d still say that fire is one of the four elements that makes up everything. We’d still sacrifice virgins to the God of rain. Speaking of which, does anyone know where I can find any virgins? It‘s really hard to find a virgin these days... it’s for non-sacrifice reasons I assure you. Nothing to do with Motar my God of Rain and Scratch Off Lottery Tickets...

 

The truth is that a word usually only enters the dictionary, and accepted use in academia well AFTER it’s already been used and accepted by the general public. What does that mean then? Did the day the word “ain’t” entered the dictionary it magically became a word? That prior to that day any usage of it, spoken or written was forfeit and unintelligible? Those would be ludicrous assumptions to make.

 

Ironically you may now find the word “Funner” in some dictionaries. So the people who fought so long against accepting it as a word are hard up. Do they now accept that “Funner” is a word, and acknowledge that they let some egg heads who run a dictionary company decide for them what are and aren’t words? Or do they say it only got into the dictionary due to “ignorant people” and ignore the fact that all words were originally just created by people and that’s how all words got into dictionaries in the first place?

 

Now if a person wants to sit in their self-created ivory tower of ignorance, and look down on any word usage they didn’t learn while in school, they have that right. Everyone has the right to be ignorant. But they will find that either way, the language will move forward and evolve with or without them. With or without academia’s approval. It is a river that can not be stopped. And like all rivers, sitting on the bank and yelling at it not to flow is useless.

 

P.S. Anyone have any luck finding any virgins for me? The funner they are, the better. ;)