Facebook Wisdom

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In amongst the deluge of cute cat, dog and other image files that we see daily on facebook, which has made facebook more into tumblr light, we stumble upon (or more are raped in the face by) what I like to call "Facebook Wisdom."


And no, I don't mean the "Like this post, or your Mom will die" posts. Which on a sad side note, is responsible for over 3,000 moms dying every month. Sure, most of them were going to be the next Hitlers. An unstoppable Mitler Army (That's Mom/Hitler combined, nothing to do with that bore Mitt Romney). An army of Moms rolling over weak Eastern European countries. Telling them to do their chores and when to go to bed. Judging them on who they are dating and on their job and life style choices. An all out Mom-agedon.


But still, there are a few good Moms who sadly pass away due to those heinous facebook posts. When will we finally bring an end to this plague of family related facebook deaths? For only a small donation of eight dollars a week, I can buy enough whiskey to happily ignore the problem.





In between these posts, we find "Facebook Wisdom." Inspirational posts, deep posts, often by famous figures of the past. I often wonder if people in some far far distant future will look back at the many "Facebook Wisdom" posts and judge us to be a deep and philosophical society. Much like the and Greek Schools of Philosophy taught by the likes of Socrates himself. Or if they will see us as insipid fools (As opposed to sipid fools. Which everyone knows is the kind of fool that you sip for refreshment on a hot summer's day.).


These "Facebook Wisdom" posts fall in several categories. Only a few of which I will touch upon. The first is general fluffery, or better categorized as Pollyanna Wisdom. And by that of course, I mean they are truly deep and important posts. Things such as "I choose to be Happy today." Ones whose general theme is "just think happy thoughts and everything in the Universe will be awesome."


Forgive me for going to a dark place here, but you're forewarned. I have a feeling that even on the train to Auschwitz there was some idiot quoting such things. The "Everything Happens for a Reason" person. Yes dear friend, the reason you are on a train headed towards death is because a genocidal mad man in Germany hates you just because you were born.


A more realistic saying would be, "Life sucks, go eat some candy while you still can." But of course that is not very uplifting, unless you're a candy salesman. I somehow don't see people posting that on facebook anytime soon.


And then of course we have that brand of facebook picture posts that are for self-deluded bad asses.  This is its own kind of "Facebook Wisdom / Philosophy."  Because nothing says "Bad Ass" more than a slightly overweight suburban Middle Class White woman talking about what a smart ass she is.  Damn, if only I could be that bad ass someday.




 Not far from this are the ones about how crazy or weird or different an individual is.  Let's face it, no one wants to admit they are normal.  Everyone wants to feel a bit different or special, so these people all try and convince themselves how weird, crazy, or insane they are.  Look son, unless you're hearing voices commanding you to do things, or you're pooping in a tin can named Fred which you plan to leave all your earthly goods to, you probably aren't crazy, weird or insane.  Trust me, I have first hand experiences with some of that (don't ask what parts). 



Odds are you're just like everyone else. You want to be different. You make jokes with your friends and talk about how "weird" or "odd" you all are. Just like everyone else on earth does. And odds are, once upon a time you were a kid with a life dream that you never went after. Now you're stuck in some unfulfilling job you only work to pay the bills. Never haven truly taken the path less traveled. Just like 99.9% of the population. But no one is likely to make a "Facebook Wisdom" graphic saying that.


Long ago someone invented indoor plumbing, and someone else invented the washing machine, and someone else invented the refrigerator, and someone else invented the microwave. All amazingly great inventions that save us all a huge about of time and effort. They make our lives easier, more convenient and open up our time to do really important things.


Think about all the great things you could be doing with that time and your life the next time you're wasting time perusing facebook for and/or sharing your own "Facebook Wisdom." Or when you're writing a dumb blog for a website...  Awww fuck it, if you can't beat them with a stick, then join them.  Here's my life creedo and "Facebook Wisdom."

Rickrolling will never die. ;)